Tonight was … interesting. As our family Christmas events always are. Dad was somewhat drunk and stressed out, the kids were running around crazily. I hid most of the night in corners of the house while missing Christine and wondering if I’d get anything considering that I’m actually an adult, now. Mom spent most of the night on the sofa in the family room. Everyone went in to visit her for a minute until they could no longer stand to see her wheezing (myself, included) and then they quickly adjourned to the other room where all the activity was. It was kind of sad, really. Somehow it didn’t seem like Christmas without her steering the ship and telling everyone what to do. But, she made it clear that her traditions are expected to be upheld, whether or not she’s doing the enforcement.

I had a damn good ham sandwich. Lost as to how to cook himself, and me wanting to have nothing to do with it, Dad finally settled on getting a glazed ham from Heavenly Ham. It took a bit of prodding and pushing this last week to convince him to pull the trigger, to actually commit to purchasing a food item other than hot dogs, but I think it paid off in the end. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, enjoy themselves regardless of the gray cloud of sick that seems to be hovering over the household.

Mom surprised the hell out of all of us tonight. We all settled in the living room after dinner to do presents and that whole thing. The faint light of the Partridge & Pear Tree made the room glow orange, and it was pretty, but I’m betting that everyone was pretty disappointed that our signature Douglas Fir wasn’t in the family room like it has been every Christmas past. This is the first time we haven’t had a real tree since I think I’ve been alive. It kind of makes a statement to the state of things. But regardless of that depressing factor, Mom’s artificial pear tree is standing proud in the living room, put up with care like every other year since Dad got it for her back in I think the 60s. Only this year, we broke the tradition and I had to put it up without her.

Apparently Mom and my brother had a special treat waiting until the end of the gift exchange — something that I had no idea of. Donned in her night gown and robe (a fashion staple for the last several months since she’s been really sick) she wandered into the living room and Dad immediately got out of the chair he was sitting in to let her have it. She was wheezing was hard and everyone looked at each other uncomfortably. Regardless of the surprise and jubilation everyone held that Mom was feeling well enough to join us, at the same time her mortality was brutally apparent. This is Mom dammit, she doesn’t get sick, she doesn’t get old, she doesn’t die - and my siblings and I struck sharp looks from the side saying that exactly only with our eyes.

“Ralph and I got something special for Patrick this year and I wanted to come in to give it to him.” My brother walked out into the hallway and got an unmarked plastic grocery bag. I had the sneaking suspicion that this would be another copy of the Myst 10th Anniversary DVDs (wouldn’t that be funny) but after Ralph handed me the bag I realized that it had a bit more weight to it. I opened it up to find a brand new Pentium 4 HT Processor still in the retail box and my jaw dropped out of complete surprise. “You’ve gone through a lot this year, Shortstuff, and I wanted to make sure you got something nice. This is what you wanted right? It’ll help you get Adrian’s movie done for April?” I stared blankly at the box and then spoke. “What is it, a new computer?” someone asked.

I put this on my list next to world peace, Mom. I wasn’t serious. “But you needed it and I wanted to get you something nice for everything you’ve done for me this year.” Well, thank you. This is awesome. This year had been s***.

It’s late now. Mom went to bed hours ago. Everyone has left. My new chip is sitting on the desk and now I just need to find a motherboard to run it. Adrian came over and I showed him the present I got, but I don’t think he really understood the whole situation. This is Mom, who’s been pretty preoccupied with her illness and somehow had a moment to think of me, of what I really wanted. Her exhaustion had led to ordering small gifts for everyone out of the J.C. Penney Christmas catalog, and somehow she felt it necessary to do her own thing for me. Something that took a little more time, a little more effort, a little more thought. And a hefty pound of not giving a s*** that she might piss everyone else off and make them feel slighted. Adrian was more excited about the things the present promised, like renders that took two hours turning to fifteen minutes. It’ll give us more time to troubleshoot.

We had more ham. We busted out the Myst DVDs that I got the other day. I showed him Riven and the D’ni numbering system. I told him more of the back story - he hasn’t heard much since he was in LA. I had an epiphany moment while in the bathroom. I really want to make the movies for this, I said when I got back to Adrian and the computer. He went to the bathroom then. When he came back, he said “I really want to see you make these movies too.” Not a chance in hell.

The night went quick. We ran around Riven. Adrian left with a light bulb over his head. I think all the time in game (or the ham) made him feel like writing. It was apparently inspiring for me too. I wonder what Christmas next year will be like. I’ll have a son and I’ll be Santa.

6:17 am

tags: christmas, myst 10th anniversary DVD, the start of it all