21
… was a sham. Driving home from work today I heard on NPR that this total lunar would be one to remember with Saturn and Regulus hanging on the side. Not supposed to happen again until Dec 2010. That seems a very long way away, until you realize it’s just two years. Two very short years, I imagine. Two very short years that become very blurry because of the all the action going on (hint, hint).
I spent the evening pruning additional posts, getting one imparticular entry ready to go live. Adrian called from work a couple of times and we discussed our stalkers; how we felt important and special. He laughed at me because I’m apparently more vulnerable as google knows me better.
After pulling from my notebook and getting things plopped in and edited, I made a phone call that I figured would make me feel better. She was there after all, at least for most of it. Chris was at her dad’s watching some movie with him and both Micam and his sister were fussy — the post-birthday buzz of excitement is apparently wearing off, and I think he’s still mad at his mom for the shots she made him get on Tuesday. She thankfully heard me out and let me read her what had the tears welling, but not breaking (surface tension, just surface tension). She’s never heard this stuff before as a lot of it is pretty much from after the time period when I readily let her see everything. She related, and I felt better. She remembers that she was going to be here Saturday. I remember that too. Micam then got on the phone and asked when I’d come see him.
I found myself wanting to get out of here for a bit. I a) wanted to see if the clouds had cleared and b) wanted to repeat that drive I took the night that I left the hospital. The clouds weren’t clear. There was a hint of a moon somewhere behind, but it definitely didn’t look like a halo of orange. It was a lie, I think. Some sort of big prank the scientists like to play, and the news is only released to the regions that are to be overcast. Just to piss everyone off.
I ended up at Adrian’s, the exact drive that I took before (except that I hadn’t left from St. Joe parking lot) and found myself laying on his sofa staring at the lone red wall and noticing that the drywall was finally finished from the big flood. I hadn’t really noticed it’d been fixed, yet. He said it had been for months. I haven’t been there a lot recently; most of my time is given to the man. (Except I’m kind of the man).
The old conversation crept up again. Can you believe we’re doing this? Acting as the spokespeople to get a Myst movie off the ground; rallying the troops to go to war; spilling our guts and telling the story of the whole debacle. Sometimes it’s so surreal to recognize what’s actually happening. Sometimes we guilt ourselves for feeling so commonplace that our big goal is nearly met. They’re all reading, they’re all watching, more will come; to see our failures, our accomplishments - our fears. Were we really ready for this? Would we ever be? Can we keep the news coming? Can we stay consistent with the constant flow? Will it all fade out into oblivion like we always fear for that two days of panic whenever Tony or Rand hasn’t had the chance to call us back? Well, I’m not tired yet. So, we keep going.
Dylan showed. (sexy lady). Adrian can explain. They went to Denny’s and I left soon after, noticing the moon bright white obscured by a thin veil of clouds. A sham, I say. A sham.
1:14 am
Feb 21 2008
Oooooo…..I like hints. Where’s Dieus when I need him! He’s better with the puzzles than I am.