

15
It’s been a while since I’ve found the time to actually write a post. I don’t have a whole lot to report. This past week has seen three separate four hour writing sessions that resulted in little more than my starring at a blinking cursor and feeling like I’m going to go completely insane.
It seems sort of dramatic to say that the writer’s life is a painful one, but it is so very true. When you’re stuck, when the block is in place, it is absolute agony. Earlier this week I came very close to crying from frustration. I was talking with my buddy Yale (who is writing a novel) the other day about that particular reaction and he informed me that he did, in fact, cry from frustration this week. Writing is now beginning to look very much like a form of masochism.
All of this is only made worse by the pressures I’m feeling to have the script completed as soon as possible. Everyone is waiting - including me - and when I’m not able to be productive, the anxiety sets in. This usually results in me being even less productive.
My dreams have been fitful rehashings of my waking worries. I’ve had at least five nightmares about the script not being finished this week. Most of them depict my total failure and my abandonment by everyone in my life.
Usually, when I come to a point in a project where I’m struggling like this, I’ll put it away for a while. Six months on ice typically does the trick. Unfortunately, I don’t have that luxury here. I’ve never had to work consistently on something for this long. I’ve never worked this slow. It’s really becoming very difficult. Once you’ve been in a story for an extended period, you really begin to feel trapped in it. I want to get out, but the only way out is through. I feel like I’m running a marathon and I’ve just hit the runner’s wall. My calves are killing me, my lungs feel like they’re going to explode and I can barely see straight.
Lord, bring me the muse or bring me death. Please. Amen.
7:23 pm














Jun 15 2008
i can testify to how tough this is for him. i read and read while he toils for hours over his computer.
we drink lots of coffee, watch period pieces and try to inspire one another to keep working…